I Am Magic

I call this a mythology,
because it feels safer to name beasts
than to tattoo medicine labels onto myself

I call myself priestess, goddess, lynx;
Holy trinity of “Holy hell” and questionable decisions.
I swear I have claws instead of nails and there is
a bestiary
of all my bad habits
and nightmares.

I’m all heavy handed symbolism
and suppressed flinches.
I keep a tally between the weather and me,
who breaks first,
and how often.
I think I’m winning but it’s been raining a lot lately,
like the weather wants to remind me where I am,
that I’m still mostly water.
If my garden has taught me anything,
it’s that I will swallow anything I cultivate myself.
Even badly thought out creation myths.

I say magic is the way of perceiving
what consequences and chance have in common,
the outcome of what we put out,
and a willing mind
that grasps
what comes back.

You remind me of the failed love potions I made when I was 13,
the smell of rotting rose petals everywhere.
So when I say
kiss me like you mean it,
when I say
I am magic;
I hope you can taste my whole mythology.

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