Here is some truth,
you are yet too little to venture in to the world, as of today you will still be coddled and patronized for years before the wind changes all too suddenly and you are expected to act like someone else, like there is another real you under the surface and it’s time for them to come out.
You will fight it or embrace it, accept that it’s unfair and figure out what you want to do with it.

I have been here, by your side, letting words and painful memories fall out of my own head to you and you have been sat there, eyes half closed like I was singing a lullaby, so unaffected by pain, so sure that you could take it.
At some point when you start to feel pain, you will find others and they will look like giants to you, massive in their experience and variety.

They will wrap you in their laughter and in their homes they will pick out each of your flaws, turn it around in their palms, watch it shimmer under your nervous eyes and mould it into something you can use.
They will feed you intoxication and bliss, but hold their hands on your shoulders to keep you from doing their mistakes. And knowing you, you will shake them off laughing and running headfirst into something that later you will still say was worth it, even as you cry yourself sore while blowing shaky smoke rings up to the ceiling.

And you will learn how to scream. You will scream at them until they crack under your glare, they will grab you, and shout that the world has claws that will tear your apart. And in their giant hands you will laugh and say that you too have got claws, and they will smile.
You will understand the smile later on, it’s not important right now.

You’re much too fresh to know just how beautiful you are and they are much too greedy to let you find out before they start scratching down your sides and lick your feelings away.
But it’s fine. The truth is, by the time you realise all of this it will be much too late to do anything about so I suggest you start running to try and reach it all before time runs out.

I have been inside for so long, curtains closed. And I haven’t screamed in years.


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